Monday, August 8, 2011

It's Monday, and I Suck Balls( figuratively, ok shit maybe literally too)


I swear I had pink eye this morning. I mean the left one was totally inflamed and itchy, like an embarrassing burning itch. It was also a little pink. But me, being the amazing worker that I am, I went to the office anyway to spread around any possible contaminants with tender loving care, because that's who I am, a tender, loving, caring person.

As it turns out I don't have pink eye. (Sigh). Instead I have Idiotitis. It was really simple to get rid of too. I took out my contact and rinsed it, and when I put it back in, no more burning, itchy eye. What can I say, I should have gone to fucking medical school. I'm pretty sure the idiotitis is a chronic condition that comes and goes. It's also really fucking infectious.

Case in point, not after more than an hour of being at work, my co-worker walked into a glass door. This was remedied by keep said door open. It's the little things that make a big difference people.

In other news, little monster still sleep walking.

My home as become an Olympic track course. Gates as tall as hurdles littered everywhere, door knob covers that require a PhD to open, and no, no cat bells yet. Although I was informed by the phubster that I could "sew those shits into the hem of her shirt." UM mother fucking no.

Ok I know this is bordering on painful to read. Before you commit harakiri (or as us morons pronounce it harry karry) or go play with razors, I'll leave you alone.

I'll try to be funnier tomorrow. I swear.

GAH MONDAYS, Fuck 'em.